AstrologyZone

AstrologyZone

Just Kate

Sometimes I just want to write and write. when I was a kid at camp, armed with a week's allowance, I used to head straight for the drugstore. I'd pick out a snickers bar usually, or sometimes a Recesses peanut butter cup, a flair pen, a ballpoint pen, some post cards, and a huge pad of empty writing paper, usually in the form of that red-covered Writing Tablet.

I was pumped up always, but living at home at 14, with rules to be in bed by 9:30 and play outside or watch tv, I never thought I had much to say. Sure I was infuriated by injustice, I still am. But nothing much had happened TO me, nor had I been forced to make many decisions at that age. It wasn't until my much yougner sister started gettign out in the world did it occur to me that I COULD make choices. ...and so it began.

So over the last 10 years, i have often found myself at the wheel wishing I had one of those small tape recorders or pads that suctioned cupped to the dash board to capture some fleeting thoughts that were building in my mind. It seemed these thoughts surfaced only during driving-mediation...the few hours a day when I was focused on only one or two tasks (driving and...boyfriend.. driving and shopping driving and to do list... driving and oh why didn't I...you get the picture)... during this time I started dreaming up a colelge these on perspectives. I also dreamed up some quantum mechanics and noetic sciences thrillful papers. I envisioned my next CSS web design layout. The creativity at work you see, in overtime because I hadn't focused during college long snough to right a long paper (I distinctly remember side-stepping the Small Group Communications class because I heard rumor of a 75 page paper. Pity really, because just two years ago I finally wrote a 60 page software requirement specification that was well on its way to 75 pages with a single refinement process.

Tonight was apparently different. I cleared my chakras a bit, especially my liver and kidney chakras, easing the load on my spleen thanks to Char and a few of her magical accupuncture sessions. Between the Chinese herbs and the meditation practice, my half full cup became half empty. Sound the same? Well it's all in the state of mind. In fact there may have been more than that affect, but I knew AT LEAST that much had changed, no doubt. It wasn't her announcement that my eyes were clearer and my toungue helathier tha convinced me. It was ultimately the MOTH to FLAME syndrome that worked itself up. I got the interview, minor thing, but then all of a sudden, my loving family beau took side stage to all of his contenders and the world was a rush of flame....heated conversations, feeling wanted, and getting an eyeful of writing. But I remembered the accupuncture sessions, the typical moth-to-flame that occurs when one's energy opens up and attitiude brightens. I remembered that it might not have been all those gus changing so much as me myself and I. I chilled. I visited my beau, and I had a super weekend.

Whi we are on the subject of my-beau-my-family, I want to say that I would be thrilled to work for ahwile in Manhattan - 6 months to 3-4 years, and want to retire to Maine. I don't have much confidence that Petey wants the same. I have told him my long term interests and he wishes me well if that's where I am off to. I could word it differently, but unlike my coworkers, I don't get different answers when I workd things differently. But I do get THE answers.

So I was perusing Borders' online newsletter which I finally received after telling the store many times that Uyes I already receive it but thank you and now I know it's still true! Within todya's Borders' newlestter, I saw a photo of some books. One was Hillary's face, one was unmemorable, and the middle one, mostly un-memorable nonetheless caught my eye. I started reading the cover snippet and that, coupled with a reading at pcburn.com and memory that Chris Bergeron is an ecellent writer, brought me here today. So now that I recognize that do I stop writing and go to bed? Would I ever pick this up again? Not likely. Belongs in a blog then.. Which one. Dreams and Steams I think. Let's see if I can find it.

Love,
kate