Stress dreams and hope
I was reminded several times at work yesterday that a man I recently bonded with is leaving in less than 4 days.
I finally met someone with a similar approach to life - no only the same on paper, but wired in a similar way - seems to make sense of facts the same way, highly values both feelings and intuition, values and loves life, and has a very similar eclectic taste for things that I do. I once mentioned that we'd either have chaos or th emost beautiful friendship. It appeares we are in line for the beautiful friendship.
Having bonded on several levels, I have been grateful that one of them is on a work level, because the oppoutunity to run work problems and business communications by each other is a treat. People who don't understand my approach to (unrequested) feedback can be blunt and harsch. Much like the Chinese fortune, I see my friend's (requested) critique's as direct and thoughtful.
He is "moving on." He found just the sort of opportunity I have been considering for myself over the years but bnever quite sure of my own energies and abilities. 2004 brought something new for me. I decided that instead of passively admiring my mentor in NYC, as I have done the past 5 years, I would instead pick up the reigns and become him. This has been quite effective. I present myself to the world slightly differently and I view opportunities - in fact I seize opportunities that I might not have int he past. I have reminded myself to live actively. Going to school full time is about that. I would like to finish that, glean the insights, and put it to work. But back to my friend - he is going to work for a company out of state, in the good light of the shiny red apple. that inspires me to no end and I am ultimately proud of him for taking that leap, but I am also scared.
I know I shouldn't be scared, or disappointed. I feel like I finaly found a person I can trust and he is wisking himself away out of reach. Intellectually I think it is a fine move for him, and as Lady Arwen says to Aragorn in Return of the King, "Your path is fated. Do what you must."
Last night I went to sleep figuring out the words to let him know he would be missed and how to ask in my apparent tenuous position if and how we would keep in touch - my insecurity seeped through and I wanted to ask him if I should be letting him go. My intellect tells me that I have seen myself through him. Knowing him for the short time I have has been a great gift into being honorable to myself. This morning, my dreams turned to symbolism - bald eagle - freedom and boldness, and door latches on the camp - security and peace of mind!
I would like to work on perfecting my art and writing - in the past, time has led me to templates and blogs. One day I would like to create my won code - add the blogger code to my own design. A catalog design would support both my request from one of my graphic arts friends, plus my digital photography needs.
What next?
Love and happiness in everything you do,
Kate
